Carol Mitchell - District Director

In this exclusive interview Carol shares her Toastmaster journey to date - what she's learned, where she's going and most importantly, the baggage she's left behind. It's quite a ride and definitely not over yet! There are still more places to go, and things to learn.

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Carol Mitchell - District Director - Toastmasters New Zealand

"I remember how nervous I was about stepping up as a leader at events like Club Leadership Training. That “imposter within” was convinced I would last two seconds on stage before being booed off." 

When you look back and see the woman who first joined Toastmasters and the one you are now - what differences do you see?

I joined Toastmasters eight years ago. Then, while I appeared outwardly confident, the inner reality was another story. I battled imposter syndrome. Part of me kept waiting to be told to stop pretending and go home! I realise now it was a fairly typical case of “low self-esteem” in that I was relying on other people to affirm that I was capable rather than believing it for myself. I see that I've been on a journey. At its heart there's been a transformation of my core beliefs about who I am and my abilities.

The expression of those changes has rippled through every facet of my life: private and public. I have grown and deepened. My leadership and public speaking skills have developed immeasurably which in turn positively influences my professional life. That's something I'm very grateful for.

I remember how nervous I was about stepping up as a leader at events like Club Leadership Training. That “imposter within” was convinced I would last two seconds on stage before being booed off. It didn't happen. Instead people were tolerant and kind. They gave me space to learn, to try, and to succeed.

Another key lesson I've learned is the ability to “read” an audience. It's taken a while. At first I was consumed with quelling my anxiety, staying on stage, getting my part right, and over. Now that I've moved from survival mode I'm able to focus my energy on what the audience wants and have the ability to adapt my presentations to meet their needs. I am more “in the moment”.

The biggest realisation is that very few of us are born great speakers. Public speaking is a collection of skills. With practice we can acquire and refine them.

What are the most important lessons you've learned over your Toastmaster years?
The good, the bad, and the ugly?

On the good

The good is easy to comment on! I have received so many benefits. I've been given self-development opportunities, met extraordinary and inspiring people, and made life-long friendships.

On the benefit of getting "kicked in the pants"

One of the best gifts is being on the receiving end of repeated “kicks in the pants”! It sounds painful but it's not. What I've finally accepted is that criticism and suggestions for improvement don't have to be met with an automatic defensive response. People are actually caring about me, and thinking through what I need in order to move up a level. Those “kicks in the pants” are valuable. I've learned to accept them in the spirit with which they're given.

On the lessons of diversity

The tough stuff is just that: tough. It would be the same anywhere, in any organisation. Toastmasters is made up of people and people behave in all sorts of ways. Some of those ways are difficult. Opinions can be harsh. Organisational skills can be woeful. Often there is baggage to sort through. Is this mine, theirs or ours? It's a bit like being in a family. We have to be prepared to acknowledge, and accept differences and find a respectful way of dealing with them. Growing up is a journey that doesn't stop!

When have you felt most proud of your TM achievements? What were they, and why?

The first is when I received my Competent Communicators award. I remember thinking, “I'm competent!” and I got a badge which I very proudly wore. It was such a good affirmation.

The next is setting up Cupcake Communicators – a women only club. It was a risk! A club full of ladies has the potential to become dangerous – a full on cat fight. But thankfully it isn't. We bring the best of ourselves to meetings. It's creative, supportive – a fabulously nurturing environment. I love it.

And lastly, delivering an Educational at the home club of Toastmasters International President Mohammed Murad while he was in attendance.

Carol with Mohammed Murad,  Dubai 2015

I was in Dubai in January 2015 and a friend asked me to give a talk on effective evaluations at a new club. It was received very well. Word of it got around and I was requested to give it again. This time it was at Mohammed's club, Toastmasters Dubai Chapter. I was so nervous about being in front of the big boys that I thought I might “pee my pants”. I didn't, and later basked in a warm fuzzy glow of pleasure and pride.

Where do you want to be over the next 2 - 3 Toastmaster years? Why?

My focus over the next year is not me but the District. I aim to make sure it gets what it needs to continue to develop. All my energy will go into supporting and pushing for that to happen.

Once the year is done I hope to have the passion and enthusiasm to be a “good” member of a club. It's not a question of having completed Toastmasters. That will never happen. Toastmasters is a process. It's a refinement or evolution of skills. I am looking forward to being Carol the member again, and to getting back into contests. I've an International speech already written and waiting.

If I was to begin my Toastmaster journey again I would ...?

This is easy! I would take more notice of people with expertise and experience a whole lot earlier!

For instance - Joy Ackrill. She gave, and continues to give, superb educationals. Once I really started listening I realised what she was offering to help me grow.

I would also be more aware of the structure of the club itself and be a more reliable member. I thought it was “a bit of a hoot” and didn't take it particularly seriously. I loved the fun parts – a bit like a kid going to school to eat lunch and hang out. The “tea and bikky” half time routine was a favourite.

With hindsight, (always beneficial), I see I was slow to grasp the potential, to see what was possible, and on offer. There was a wealth of experience to tap into. These days I'm grateful, and Joy is my mentor.

Which public speakers or leaders (not necessarily inside Toastmasters) do you admire and why?

Outside Toastmasters

The top of my list is Mother Theresa. When I finally grow up, if I have just a smidgen of her gift as a speaker to give I'll be happy.

I admire the current Pope. He walks his talk.

Inside Toastmasters

And there are Toastmaster people – Joy Ackrill for her honesty (lack of sugar coating), generosity and knowledge, Chrissy Meyer, Laurel Francis, Sarah Bate for friendship, support and, everything … It's a very long list!

Toni Sharp gets a special place because she is my reality check. When a dose of the “can't do its” threatens to swamp me I think of her. She is the ultimate example of having what it takes to “keep on, keeping on”. (Toni is totally blind but has never let that curtail her life. She was awarded a Queen's Service Medal in 2014 for her services to the blind community.)

Toni Sharp (with Carol) at her 2014 Queen's Service Award presentation

Resources? Books? People? Websites? Any to recommend?

I use the Toastmaster International website all the time but beyond that I haven't got books or sites to recommend. I'm not a collector of self-help materials. I tend to go looking for specific things when I need them.

On getting yourself a mentor

What I do wholeheartedly advocate is getting yourself a mentor.

This is a person who will be your sounding board. They'll help you identify and set goals and work out a tailored programme to meet them while keeping you grounded, and focussed. What they won't do is write your speeches for you!

Many clubs run a mentoring system – some to get people through their first three speeches and some going beyond that. I'd personally like to see it sustained. If it's done well mentoring is akin to coaching. That person is aware of your life goals and will bring to your awareness opportunities to move ahead. They reveal possibilities – see things in you that you can't see for yourself. And best of all, they short circuit any tendency to wallow in negativity.

Of course the person you choose doesn't have to come from within your club and neither does one mentor have to fit all situations. You could have a mentor for speeches, one for leadership challenges and so on.

Get one today!

And is there anything else you feel like flinging in - on balancing careers ...

On work-life balance and doing everything

One of the major areas I've had to look at is organisational skills. Toastmasters deserves the best of what I have to offer. To achieve that I need to be fully organised. My work deserves the best of what I have to offer. To achieve that, I need to be fully organised. I also need a life beyond both of them. To achieve that I required a system to keep all three spheres in balance.

I use a work-life-balance sheet* which I faithfully fill out, review and adjust. It lets me see what is going on in my life – as opposed to what I think or feel is going on.

Although the Toastmaster commitment increases as you go up the role levels, we can do all the things we want to, if we plan and do them consciously. That also entails keeping an eagle-eyed watch out for procrastination. Dismissing things as too hard, too time consuming or simply slopping them into the “don't feel like it – not now” bucket doesn't cut it.

If you decide to take it, stepping up in to leadership is a fabulous ride! In good Toastmaster fashion I recommend it.

* Click the link to download a pdf of Carol's work-life balance sheet.

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Thanks Carol.