Tips for preparing a humorous speech

Are you funny ha-ha or funny ho-hum? 

Rob Julian

Rob Julian, DTM, member of Capital Toastmasters Wellington, shares what makes us laugh and the secrets of preparing a humorous speech. It's a topic he knows well. Rob was placed third three times in the Humorous Contest at District level before he finally won it in 2011 in Tauranga.

You can view his winning speech at the foot of the page.

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The Toastmaster Humorous Speech Contest is almost upon us. Are you entering your club contest? If not, why not? It always seems to me that joining Toastmasters to gain confidence in public speaking, amongst other skills, and then not entering a club contest is similar to a person spending hours volleying a tennis ball against a concrete wall, and refusing to play a game of tennis.

One of the major reasons given is "I am not a humorous speaker. What if I try to give a humorous speech and no one laughs?"

Surprisingly, or perhaps not, the audience at a Humorous Speech contest is looking for things to laugh at. They will laugh at the weakest joke. It always surprises me how when I hit what I think is an hilarious comment, no one laughs and then when I make what I consider an ordinary mundane remark, the audience dissolves in laughter. Eh? What was funny about that?

To paraphrase a comment I recently read in The Toastmaster, have you ever heard a club member say ‘Boy, I am really looking forward to seeing (Bill, Janice, Mary, whomever) get up and make a fool of themselves at the Humorous Speech Contest?’ No? Well neither has anyone else.

Types of Humour

You will all be familiar with this list which is by no means exhaustive.

Bathos – (no, not ‘pathos’) – making a serious thoughtful comment and following it with a facetious observation. I intend to prepare my humorous speech a week in advance – yeah, right. (cf Tui Bill Boards)

Puns – said to be the lowest form a wit but everyone appreciates them. Giving a speech about chickens is a paltry eggsersize.

Epigrams – otherwise known as ‘one-liners ‘when I talk to myself, I at least have an intelligent audience’.

The Intellectual Twist – lead the audience into expecting a specific point and then giving something completely different. Book readers make novel lovers.

Topics for Humour

Over the years I must have heard hundreds of humorous speeches at Toastmasters. Invariably they relate personal experiences and observations. There have been topical speeches such as commenting on the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus", or "The Problem with Politicians", but I personally find these difficult. Topics I can remember mostly revolve around themes such as

• Adolescence – the pain of growing up
• Romance and courting – the agony of the first date
• Parenting – coping with teenagers, children, grandchildren
• Holiday disasters – arriving in London with your luggage in NewYork
• Keeping up with fashion – gym gear, social mores, wearing high heels, etc.
• Coping with life – the Doctor/Dentist, Bureaucracy, flatting, marriage.
• Living with a cat (or whatever)

Use your past embarrassing moments for inspiration

You will notice that these are all topics above involve you telling of experiences that were hugely embarrassing at the time.

• Your child throwing a super tantrum in the supermarket. 
• Forgetting the name of your boss when introducing him/her. 
• Finding your 18 year old daughter’s boyfriend in bed with her on a Sunday morning. (Like what on earth do you say?). 

Everyone can relate to these instances because they have all faced similar ones themselves.

In my speech at the District Final in Tauranga I related how I got distracted by my grandson Jack when helping him into his togs at the swimming pool. And then when I was relaxing in the toddlers’ pool watching him suddenly realised I had forgotten to change into my togs and was still in my underpants. People roared with laughter. But at the time it was definitely NOT funny.

So – pick a theme from above, like Life with my Husband. Think of three things he has done to embarrass you horribly. Describe each on and after each description, make a comment. After the third, draw a conclusion, with a message for the audience. Despite all this I do love him dearly. How do you get on with your significant other? Remember, it has got to be a proper speech with a beginning, a body and a conclusion.

Things to avoid

1. Sarcasm 
2. Belittling other people
3. Potty humour – poohs and wees. You might reduce 4 year olds to helpless laughter but not a Toastmaster audience.
4. Blue humour – that is dirty jokes. This is not to say risqué humour should be avoided but be careful. You may get 60% of the audience laughing, but if you get 40% of the judges offended you won’t get placed.
5. Ethnic, racist, or sexist jokes – unless you can turn it against yourself. Jewish people can make Jewish jokes but not anyone else. Insofar as my mother came from Scotland, I can just get away with a Scottish joke. But as they say What is brown, red and lies bleeding in the gutter? A brunette that has made one blonde joke too many.

What do you do about laughter?

Like what if you don’t get any? Just pause. Often it is because the audience don’t at first get it. Then, either carry on as if nothing is untoward – or, one of my favourite techniques if to hold my hand as if I am making a cell phone call and say ‘Beam me up Scotty, there’s no one down here’. Which signals to the audience that I have just made a joke and I expect laughter. It falls flat if no one can remember ‘Star Trek’ on TV.

When you do get laughter, allow it to happen. Don’t cut it off. In a larger audience, you often get two waves of laughter. The first when they know you have made a joke, and then a further wave as they fully appreciate it. If you get up to the District finals, be aware that there will be Aucklanders in the audience. And they always laugh three times at a joke. The first time when they hear it, the second time when it is explained to them, and the third time the next day when they finally get it. You can substitute ‘Australians’ for ‘Aucklanders’ where appropriate.

So go to it. Prepare a speech that is no longer than 7 minutes. Preferably 6 ¾. You will find that laughter takes up time and you don’t want to give the funniest speech and then be disqualified by going over time.

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Rob's winning speech

Speech: Rob Julian Toastmasters Humorous Speech District Convention 2011 from Toastmasters New Zealand on Vimeo.

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